More Poems

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POEMS AND THOUGHTS

More poems from victim's. 

MY SILENCE SCREAMS

MY SILENCE SCREAMS

AUTHOR: Susan B. Blocker

Copyright Notice: 1996-2000

 

My body absorbed in pain, battered, beaten and bruised,

Alone in the dark I cry.

As I hear the sound of his keys slowly unlocking the front

Door, in fear, I cringe, I cower, I tremble..

Tightly clenched, fists enraged.. Pleading, Begging for

My life, I cry,  I scream in silence..

Once again my body absorbed in pain, battered, beaten

And bruised,  I’m bleeding…

Alone, I cry myself to sleep…

In desperation I cling to my last ounce of sanity….Losing

“MYSELF” like glass, I shatter..

For all who sorrow, grieve and suffer in silence, I

Relinguish my burdened mass and shroud.. Into dust I

Etched in song my spirit echoes and dances across the

Wind.

 

Thank you Susan for sharing this wonderful poem!!!!

December 30, 1999 To July 18, 2006

December 30, 1999 To July 18, 2006

 

Most people don’t know what happened in my past

Most people don’t realize that this pain will last

It will haunt me forever in my dreams

I’ll remember the laughter, I’ll remember the screams

I will never forget the tears I cried

I will never forget how everyone tried

To calm me down and tell me everything would be okay

But reality happened later that day

They told me you were gone

I’d never see you again

Most people don’t know that I lost my best friend

Even though you’re gone- I carry the memory wherever I go

The secrets we shared that nobody else could ever know

The dreams I have I wish would come true

Just remind me more of the good times I had with you

I wish you were here more and more each day

Cause there are so many things I never got to say

You were my best friend that no-one could ever replace

Deep in my heart there will always be space

The space there no-one can ever fill

I know it’s true but I still can’t believe it’s real

The pain doesn’t go away; it leaves me hurting so bad

When I think about it, it only makes me sad

I know it’s true; I’m in a better place

But even that can’t stop the tears from falling down my face

Deep down inside I feel like it’s my fault

If I could control time, I’d put it to a halt

I would go back, maybe instead of me it could have been you

But I guess this is the way God wanted things to be

A wonderful life you could be living

Wonderful things that you would have been given

But I’m not magic – I can’t do those things

I can’t tell you what the future brings

But I can hope this pain goes away.

The memory of you – right now in my heart will stay.

  

Marie Sargent

March 23, 2007

The Warrior Within

The Warrior Within  
There she waits in the shadows. 
Waiting....and waiting.... 
 Quiet, until her name is called.
When called she fights for ultimate survival.  
Her armor beaten and dented. 
Her sword and shield worn from battle.  
Yet, within the warrior, Spirit is strong. 
Spirit is undying and always protected.  
The sense of battle is at hand. 
She will rise out of the shadows.  
She will fight the Demons through and through.
 When they are beaten and POWERLESS, she will..  
return to the quiteness of the shadows. 

© ellymae 1999

11TH COMMANDMENT

She hears his heavy breathing in the dark

His footsteps coming closer down the hall

She’s so ashamed; she’s daddy’s secret love

She wants to cry, she wants to die, but he can’t get enough

The bruises on his face will go away

Mom keeps him home from school til they fade

She’s sorry he was born and tells him so

He takes it in, he hangs his chin, he ducks another blow 

Did God overlook it

What ought have been written

The eleventh commandment

Honor thy children

 He cries for hours, cries and never stops

He shakes so hard his little cradle rocks

He’ll never have the chance to be brand new

He’ll never walk, he’ll never talk, he’s addicted too 

Did God overlook itWhat ought have been written

The eleventh commandmentHonor thy children 

Thou shall not killThou shall not steal

Thou shall not take the Lord’s name in vain

Thou shall not cause thy children pain God does not overlook it

What ought to have been written

The eleventh commandment

Honor thy children

Honor thy children

 “The 11th commandment”—Collin Raye

THE STORM THAT LEFT ME TO DIE

THE STORM THAT LEFT ME TO DIE
Murder - It was not Rape
by Bonnie Hall

The clouds are gray
but as they get closer they get darker
and then without warning lightening strikes
and the thunder rolls out roar after roar.

There I sat week after week
and the grey words encircled me
as I heard, more and more darkness fell.
I was enfolded in the midst of the storm -

the eye of the tornado
but all I was by then was an empty shell.

It had skillfully been planned,
and then just as skillfully it struck
by tearing and ripping away all that I was:
lost, confused, and forlorn but also a person.
But a person that was destroyed and then discarded.
All that remained -
was not the result of rape, assault, or incest -
it was murder - there was no more me.

So, now with my soul, and heart dead
I was touched for twisted delight
I froze
as I watched in horror!

Now, as the days and hours of tears roll by
the horror now inside me -
I may have died -
but the invisible wounds will never fade away or die.
They haunt and torment me -
I cannot find anything of myself -
there is nothing left -
I wander and it hurts.

But, there is one thing that was not killed -

the truth - It is Alive.

Bonnie Hall © 2001

 

Buried Secret

I hold in my heart a secret so dear
one that i wont let anyone near
it is so hard to keep this secret inside
sometimes i wish i could have just died
i try to be strong and i try not to cry
but my whole life feels like one huge lie
i ask myself why am i protecting him
then everything i remembered begins to go dim
All i ever wanted was to lay in bed
but the beast wouldnt let me rest my head
i layed there as if i were frozen in time
doing nothing while he committed that horrible crime
i should have gotten up, i should have ran away
but even then he could get me another day
it is over now, and my secret is still deeply concealed
but hopefully if i continue doing this i will be healed.
© Katie 1999
 

 THE STARFISH

A storm surges on the eastern coast.  A great tide came ashore and receded, leaving thousands and thousands of tiny starfish stranded on the beach.  A small fourteen year old boy saw their plight and frantically started picking up the starfish and placing them back into the ocean so that they wouldn’t die.  After doing this for about an hour, he looked up and down the beach and could tell that he hardly made a dent in the numbers of starfish that were stranded.  A couple of his buddies came along and started kidding him, saying, “What are you doing?” and he said “I am putting them back in the ocean so that they won’t die.” And they said, “What you are doing won’t make any difference.” Then the boy placed a starfish in the life-giving waters and as life returned to the small starfish, he pointed to it and said, “Well, it sure make a difference to that one.” And so, the starfish in our case are the victims who are in need of our assistance, the ocean is a vast and diverse as are the problems we face in our society today; the tide is significant of the destruction that we see.  A great force that we must deal with on a constant basis. Your support is with a helping hand between the ocean, the tide and the starfish.

To Hell And Back

You ruined my family,

you ruined my life,

you made me want to kill myself with a knife.

You didn't give us what we needed,

you made us seem so poor,

you thought you were giving us enough,

but we needed so much more.

My older brother loves you,

he thinks you're a hero,

you're made of gold,

but it wouldn't take long

for that relationship to unfold.

You made me so many promises,

you told me so many lies, 

you made me hate you so much,

you made me want to see you die.

You told me that I deserved it,

you said I was to blame,

you told me that I wanted it,

but I felt all of the pain.

I don't want to see you again,

I don't have anything to say,

you were in the wrong,

it's time I had it my way.

© Tear Drop 1999

THE TOUCH
Elizabeth Simons
wordcrafter11@yahoo.com
Copyright © 1989. All rights reserved.  

Picture-perfect body carved by rigid thought: aloof, controlled, the roundness of my softer self replaced by lines and angles that reflect the holocaust within.

A perfect child! they said, and leered. They beckoned me to come, their arms in circles that enfolded me. And smothering my anguished cries, they touched me with their awful hands, awakening my secret feelings long before their time.

I wanted them to see my heart. I watched their arms, their hands, as if my silent eyes could speak. My cry went out: what do you want? (But no one heard.)

I shut my eyes, my heart, against the tide. But all I saw were greedy hands that fondled me. My small-child’s body, swallowed up by groping arms, awoke to dread and guilt.

The circles of my rounder self were straightened out. I boarded up the shattered pieces of my heart to keep it safe, and gave away my picture-perfect body to the holocaust.

1989

Being a Child

Being a Child is not what it seems!
A world full of hopes,
A heart full of dreams.

The ice cream parlor, Where every one goes.
The little Secrets that no one knows!
Going to sleep a heart full of fear!
Wiping away the last little tear!

It’s searching for love,
And no one’s around.
And searching for help that can’t be found.
It’s going to sleep and wanting to die!
How much more can I cry?

It’s closing you’re eyes and wishing him gone.
It’s minding your heart where it’s been torn!
It’s taking a bath to wash it way
Only to find it’s here to stay!

It’s wanting your mother to protect you at night.
It’s wanting her arms to hold to tight!
Money and cokes and basketball cheers,
Spending the night a heart full of fears!

Laughing playing and having fun,
Where never a part of being young!
A world of lost hopes and shattered dreams
This child’s life is not what it seems!

Happy Birthday

Today is my Birthday.
No ice cream or cake!
The smile I wear is forced and fake!

Don’t want a birthday this year.
Eight years old
On this sad day.
Full of fear.

Outside in the yard sounds of laughter and play.
Why is everyone so happy on this hated day?
Inside the house, all alone
I only came in to answer the phone!
Too late to hide!
Daddy stumbles and finds his way inside.
Locking the door,
He throws me to the floor
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIG GIRL”
I have got something I want you to see.
Oh dear god please let me get free!

Closing my eyes this I pray
Daddy please don’t hurt me this way!
With his hand over my mouth,
Unable to SHOUT.
Daddy why are you touching me this way?
Didn’t anyone tell you it’s my
Birthday today?

FLOWERS TODAY

 

 

FLOWERS TODAY

I got flowers today.

It wasn’t my birthday or any other special day.

We had our first argument last night, and he said A lot of

cruel things that really hurt me

I know he is sorry and didn’t mean the things he said

Because he sent me flowers today. 

I got flowers today.

It wasn’t our anniversary or any other special day.

Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me.

It seemed like a nightmare.

I couldn’t believe it was real.

I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.

I know he was sorry because he sent me flowers today.

 I got flowers today.

It wasn’t Mothers Day or any other special day.

Last night, he beat me up again.

And it was much worse than all the other times.

If I leave him, what will I do?

How will I take care of my kids?

I’m afraid of him and scared to leave.

But I know he must be sorry because he sent me flowers today. 

I got flowers today.

Today was a very special day.

It was the day of my funeral.

Last night he finally killed me.

He beat me to death.

If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him,

I would not be getting flowers today.